Ashes Fantasy Cricket - How To Win

The key to victory in any Ashes fantasy cricket league is to have players from the team that wins. Particularly batsmen need to be from the winning team. Because the poms are cheats, you need some of their players, especially those who claim catches that aren't legit. Because catches are worth 12 points in cricket.com.au and 2 or 1 point for keepers in sbs.com.au. Can't beat that score! If you are in a comp that has a captain, put your kepper (Haddin, because Prior is shit) as your captain from the catch points. Also, don't pick Phil Hughes. He's been dropped! And Shane Whatswrongwithhimthistime has been brought in to replace him. He won't get through the first session. Thats what Australia gets for not bringing a backup batsman (even though Hughes doesn't deserve to be dropped).

Schumy is coming back! The Schuminator is replacing Massa after his injuries. Can he win the championship from here? I reckon Ferrari will suddenly become competive now that he's back.

Port suck! They lost the showdown by 70 points with all their downhill skiers going missing. They gave up more easily than Tom Boonen who left Le Tour early to get high. Speaking of getting high, Aussie pole vaulter Steve Hooker won the London GP recently.

Split Averted... But Can Formula 1 Convert The Spare With The Tour Fast Approaching?

Almost as soon as any real consequences of the potential F1 series breakaway were considered, the split is now off. Max Mosley has agreed to resign from his presidency of the FIA and now the teams are placated. Read more here... if you think that this situation will hold together for any more than a few days before someone decides to play some more politics of doom. It is exactly this kind of politics which continues to dog Formula 1. Where there is money, prestige and power, some people will seek to control it for their own ends, regardless of the impact on other parties. Witness drug cheats like Alejandro Valverde as another example. Valverde has been banned from the Tour De France this year by Italian authorities (wait, France isnt part of Italy is it?) because of his involvement in infamous Operation Puerto. The Italian Olympic Committee banned Valverde from racing in Italy for 2 years and this year's Tour passes through Italy briefly (well that explains why Italian authorities are involved). Valverde reckons that the Italian Olympic Committee have no power over him because he is Spanish, but its only a matter of time until the UCI act on the same findings that the Italians have used. And anyway, the ASO which runs the Tour has a record of being probably the harshest sporting body in the world on drugs (and rightly so). Tom Boonen has been banned because he has twice tested positive for cocaine in the past year. And last year the whole Astana team was banned because of the team's history of doping in the 2007 Tour, robbing Alberto Contador of the right to defend his title (even though he was with Discovery Channel when the doping occurred at Astana). Cycling may have drug cheast, but atleast they are trying to fix the problem. No-one in F1 seems to want to throttle back the backroom scheming. Now, I'm not saying that this is anywhere near as bad as drug cheating, just that they are both similar types of problems.

FOTA vs F1

In recent weeks, the relationship between the Formula One Teams Association (FOTA) and Formula 1 has grown increasingly fractured, until FOTA announced a week or so ago that they would form a breakaway championship next year. The big 3 reasons for this were money (budget caps), politics and freedom (technical). The only recognised teams left in the regular F1 championship for next year are now Williams and Force India. Presumably then, the FOTA championship will take over the niche that F1 has held within 2 years, and F1 will become a feeder category, because lets face it, nobody wants to see any competition that has a powerhouse like Force India a podium chance.

But more interestingly, what technical regulations will the FOTA championship have? Formula 1 has been vastly over regulated for a long time, curtailing engineering improvements to gradual aerodynamic improvements. There has been little innovation or real change since the pointy-up nose cone in the early 1990s. Soon after any team makes a real breakthrough, it is banned by the FIA who want a driver's series. If you want a driver's series, watch touring car racing. Formula 1 (or its FOTA replacement) should be about engineering the fastest possible car. Lets bring back some of the radical design ideas of the past...
The Tyrrell P34 for example, which raced in 1976-77.

The Specialist Fielder - Jared Petrenkalenko And Legend Matthew Hayden

The picture is worth 1000 words (or in this case, 46 if you count numbers as words).  I guess I brought this on myself with my close wins last week. My undefeated streak is over, with losses in 2 leagues and the eliminator. On the plus side, now atleast I won't waste trades to keep a strong eliminator team. Two Points! Two Points? I blame Happy Chappy for this loss, if he had atleast played and went off injured in the 1st 1/4 (after getting atleast a kick) I would have won. 

That brings me on to the second specialist fielder in history (not counting Cam White, who is a given)  - Jared "Petrenkalenko" Petrenko

How did he keep getting a game? (He has just been dropped in the latest teams to be announced) Jared has had less than 10 disposals for his past five games. Sure, his first 3 games were fairly good, with 15, 18 and 14 touches, but surely someone better could have taken his spot. 

Less than 10 touches for 5 games in a row - thats Specialist Fielder material and also earns him a spot in the Shit List. 

Now lets talk about someone who quite clearly isn't shit at all. If fact, Matthew Hayden is the second addition to the list of Rushed Behind Legends. 

Haydos has 546 runs at an average of 55 in 11 IPL games this year striking at above 140. He was the highest run scorer in the last T20 World Cup. Yet his hasn't been asked back for this year's comp. Instead Australia have opted for the dubious talents of Dave Warner, and the 'totally not an opener' options of Hopes, Watson, Clarke and Haddin (Phil Hughes was obviously deemed in too good form to be picked). The form Haydos is in, you'd consider him for the Ashes, even if he plays it like a T20 game. The only problem is that he has 'retired'. But, the retirement was forced by selcetors who would no longer pick him (unlike the Huss, who has stayed in the side despite a far worse run than Haydos ever had). Surely he could come back as a T20 specialist and pulverise attacks for another couple of years?

My Dream Team and Abbreviated Match Reports for 3 AFL games and the Melbourne GP

You may have noticed (those of you who are paying attention and have, give yourselves a gold star) that I haven't blogged since my brief rookie DT round-up. I've been away in Melbourne for The Biggest Weekend of Sport Ever By A South Aussie (a registered trademark of the Rushed Behind corporatrox). Before we get into that, I said last time I would post my Dream Team for you guys. After some last minute tinckering (finding an internet cafe in Melbourne for the 160 minutes of madness, you need to get your priorities right :-)), it is as follows (ordered by first round score, becuase thats easier for me):
Backs:
"Better Than Fisher" Goddard (398,400)
Houlihan (244,900)
C.Cornes (379,500)
"Bockmeister" Bock (372,900)
Hodge (428,800)
Raines (188,100)
"Gears of War" Geary (192,100)
Reserve:
"Petrenkalenko" Petrenko (86,600)
Suban (86,600)
Mids:
"DT God" Ablett (495,700)
Dalziell (420,300)
Judd (378,600)
Otten (126,500)
Hasleby (257,800)
Kerr (339,200)
Reserve:
"Goddamn, Why Is He Injured?" Anthony (86,600)
Cook (86,600)
Rucks:
"McIntosser" McIntosh (296,600)
Cox (473,200)
Reserve:
Spencer (75,300)
Browne (75,300)
Forwards:
Skipworth (196,600)
"Lecture" Chapman (410,600)
Higgins (211,900)
"Cost Me A Prize" Pavlich (440,000)
T.Cloke (334,000)
"Cousin of" J.Riewoldt (257,800)
"Crack Smoker" Krakouer (189,300)
Reserve:
Walker (86,600)
Brown (86,600)

I saw 3 games live on the weekend, plus the F1GP in Melbourne. So I'll just give you some things I noticed.

Hawthorn vs Geelong
How did Hawthorn even get close? Geelong seemed a much better side for almost the whole game, but like in the GF last year, they just couldn't kick straight. Harry Taylor is officially on the Rushed Behind "Shit List" (I'll display this along the sidebar somewhere soon with links to the posts where they joined the list). He displayed a defensive ineptitude when opposed to either Roughhead or Franklin that has only been outdone by Stephen Gilham when he was on the Port list playing for North Adelaide (also a founding member of the "Shit List"). In the end, Geelong just managed to hold Hawthorn in an excellent quality game that showed why these sides will be competing for the flag on the LSIS.

Collingwood vs Adelaide
Another quality game, highlighted by the performance of "Bernard" Vince. Adelaide's young players performed exceptionally, showing that both Otten and Petrenko should be handy cash cows (or even keepers if they continue to improve). Otten plays like a Bock clone as a rebounding defender and Petrenko plays a rebounding half back or goal sneak. The umpiring was fine, despite what Collingwhine were bitching about. I reckon the supporters at the ground took it better than the president, probably becuase the average Pies fan has never read the rules (or anything more substantial than the TV guide). Both sides should be in contention for top 8 spots at worst.

St. Kilda vs Sydney
This game showed total dominance to one side at a time. Sydney were far better early, but failed to even score for long periods later. Zac Dawson was notable for not being shit. Jarryn Geary needs to buy some new deodorent because his team mates seem to want the ball anywhere but where he is. Riewoldt was almost unsighted, burning those DT coaches who chose him ahead of Pavlich as their most premium forward.

Melbourne F1 Grand Prix
Almost no passing occured (as is normally the case in F1) and yet it was an exciting race, with the new boys on the block, Brawn GP going 1-2 after 2nd and 3rd placed Vettel and Kubica collided, allowing Barrichello to take 2nd to his team mate Button. The twilight concept worked okay, although some fans would have struggled to see the action later in the day. The Who were excellent at the after race concert, proving that although their lyrics "I hope I die before I get old" may need to be re-written, they can still rock out.

The Rushed Behind is now lobbying to buy the naming rights for the newly re-named Etihad Stadium for next year, because almost every other corporatrox has endorsed the ex-Telstra Dome. I don't think this is quite as long as the Stat-tastic Aussie Cricket team was, but its still too long to put my thoughts on the Australia-South Africa test series into. I'll save that for the next post, at a relevent time during the ODI series.